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Saturday, November 14, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
The Genie and The Three Wishes
Remember all those "I'll grant you three wishes" stories we read as children? You know, the ones where a weary traveller, prince or merchant find a bottle, lamp or other sundry item and a genie/spirit pops out. How would the following people react to a situation like that ?
Genie: wont a nice little sexy french maid do?
Grad Student (Male): Nope..I need her to do my assignments as well.. so yeah.. I need a grad student (female) and nothing else
Genie: So whats your third wish?
Grad Student: ok.. now lets see, we covered money, entertainment, companionship...well.. i guess that'll be all
Grad Student (female): Ok.. considering grad student(male) gave up his third wish... i get four wishes right?
Genie(already bored): Yeah.. whatever...lets just get this over with
Grad Student (female): First wish, all sports on tv should be banned and replaced with a 24 hour 'sex and the city' marathon. Second wish, I want an elevator inside my house that leads to the mall. Third wish.. I need an add on card to grad student(male)'s gazillion dollar account.
Genie: but couldn't you just wish for an unlimited supply of mall merchandise at home?
Grad student (female): But whats the fun in that ? The whole point of shopping is go out there and spend money that you shouldn't be spending anyway...
Genie: Strange... but what about the fourth wish?
Grad Student (female): All women on earth should be able to eat as much as they can and not put on any weight..
Genie: well, that can be arranged...but what about you doing all the housework for grad student(male)?...
Grad Student (female): Well.. I already hired a french maid for that....he only said he "wants" me to do his work... and He knows he doesnt always get what he wants.....now leave me alone... I need to go to the mall..
Professor 1 and Professor 2 : We want our grad student's wishes to take effect only on Sundays provided they've worked enough during the week
Random film buff: I want Ashutosh Gowarikar to die twelve times after what he put us through in his recent movie
Akshay Kumar: I want all those that died after watching 'Blue' to come back to life
Himesh Reshammiya: I want to kill the guy that invented 'Caps'..
Barack Obama: I want all grad students who earn a gazillion dollars to pay a trillion dollars in tax
Mayawati: I want a statue of myself in every house and I want everyone to wear Pink 24 hours a day..
Manoj Night Shyamalan: I want everyone to stop whispering, "I see boring movies" at me on the road.
Random game show contestant: OWWW CAN ZEE SLAPP?!
Abinand: I want Raghav to experience excruciating pain every time he takes a dig at one of my movies.
Raghav: I want everyone except Abinand to read this blog.
Sachin Tendulkar: Sorry.. not interested.
Vijay: I want people to watch Vettaikaran for me and not Anushka...and I want everyone who bitches about me in blogs to spontaneously combust.
French Premier Sarkozi: I want everyone to stop talking about my wife and start talking about me
----
Rakhee Sawant: I want everyone in India to participate in season 2 of Rakhee Sawant's Swayamvar...
Genie: wait a minute... weren't you married at the end of the first season?
Rakhee Sawant: My second wish.. I want everyone in India to watch Season 1 of Rakhee Sawant's 'Talak' (Talak)..it premiers this monday.
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Well what would you wish for?
(Thanks for reading, Comment Away!!)
Scenario 1: Starring Grad Student (Male)
Grad Student (Male): Ok genie, first of all I want to be paid a gazillion dollars a year for watching football games / reading trash on the internet / driving around and getting sloshed. Second...I want a grad student (female) at home to clean the house, wash the dishes and cook the food.."Genie: wont a nice little sexy french maid do?
Grad Student (Male): Nope..I need her to do my assignments as well.. so yeah.. I need a grad student (female) and nothing else
Genie: So whats your third wish?
Grad Student: ok.. now lets see, we covered money, entertainment, companionship...well.. i guess that'll be all
Scenario 2: Starring Grad Student (female)
Grad Student (female): Ok.. considering grad student(male) gave up his third wish... i get four wishes right?
Genie(already bored): Yeah.. whatever...lets just get this over with
Grad Student (female): First wish, all sports on tv should be banned and replaced with a 24 hour 'sex and the city' marathon. Second wish, I want an elevator inside my house that leads to the mall. Third wish.. I need an add on card to grad student(male)'s gazillion dollar account.
Genie: but couldn't you just wish for an unlimited supply of mall merchandise at home?
Grad student (female): But whats the fun in that ? The whole point of shopping is go out there and spend money that you shouldn't be spending anyway...
Genie: Strange... but what about the fourth wish?
Grad Student (female): All women on earth should be able to eat as much as they can and not put on any weight..
Genie: well, that can be arranged...but what about you doing all the housework for grad student(male)?...
Grad Student (female): Well.. I already hired a french maid for that....he only said he "wants" me to do his work... and He knows he doesnt always get what he wants.....now leave me alone... I need to go to the mall..
Scenario 3: Starring other assorted celebrities
Professor 1 and Professor 2 : We want our grad student's wishes to take effect only on Sundays provided they've worked enough during the week
Random film buff: I want Ashutosh Gowarikar to die twelve times after what he put us through in his recent movie
Akshay Kumar: I want all those that died after watching 'Blue' to come back to life
Himesh Reshammiya: I want to kill the guy that invented 'Caps'..
Barack Obama: I want all grad students who earn a gazillion dollars to pay a trillion dollars in tax
Mayawati: I want a statue of myself in every house and I want everyone to wear Pink 24 hours a day..
Manoj Night Shyamalan: I want everyone to stop whispering, "I see boring movies" at me on the road.
Random game show contestant: OWWW CAN ZEE SLAPP?!
Abinand: I want Raghav to experience excruciating pain every time he takes a dig at one of my movies.
Raghav: I want everyone except Abinand to read this blog.
Sachin Tendulkar: Sorry.. not interested.
Vijay: I want people to watch Vettaikaran for me and not Anushka...and I want everyone who bitches about me in blogs to spontaneously combust.
French Premier Sarkozi: I want everyone to stop talking about my wife and start talking about me
----
Rakhee Sawant: I want everyone in India to participate in season 2 of Rakhee Sawant's Swayamvar...
Genie: wait a minute... weren't you married at the end of the first season?
Rakhee Sawant: My second wish.. I want everyone in India to watch Season 1 of Rakhee Sawant's 'Talak' (Talak)..it premiers this monday.
----
Well what would you wish for?
(Thanks for reading, Comment Away!!)
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