The Genie and The Three Wishes

Remember all those "I'll grant you three wishes" stories we read as children? You know, the ones where a weary traveller, prince or merchant find a bottle, lamp or other sundry item and a genie/spirit pops out. How would the following people react to a situation like that ?

Scenario 1: Starring Grad Student (Male)

Grad Student (Male): Ok genie, first of all I want to be paid a gazillion dollars a year for watching football games / reading trash on the internet / driving around and getting sloshed. Second...I want a grad student (female) at home to clean the house, wash the dishes and cook the food.."

Genie: wont a nice little sexy french maid do?

Grad Student (Male): Nope..I need her to do my assignments as well.. so yeah.. I need a grad student (female) and nothing else

Genie: So whats your third wish?

Grad Student: ok.. now lets see, we covered money, entertainment, companionship...well.. i guess that'll be all

Scenario 2: Starring Grad Student (female)

Grad Student (female): Ok.. considering grad student(male) gave up his third wish... i get four wishes right?

Genie(already bored): Yeah.. whatever...lets just get this over with

Grad Student (female): First wish, all sports on tv should be banned and replaced with a 24 hour 'sex and the city' marathon. Second wish, I want an elevator inside my house that leads to the mall. Third wish.. I need an add on card to grad student(male)'s gazillion dollar account.

Genie: but couldn't you just wish for an unlimited supply of mall merchandise at home?

Grad student (female): But whats the fun in that ? The whole point of shopping is go out there and spend money that you shouldn't be spending anyway...

Genie: Strange... but what about the fourth wish?

Grad Student (female): All women on earth should be able to eat as much as they can and not put on any weight..

Genie: well, that can be arranged...but what about you doing all the housework for grad student(male)?...

Grad Student (female): Well.. I already hired a french maid for that....he only said he "wants" me to do his work... and He knows he doesnt always get what he wants.....now leave me alone... I need to go to the mall..

Scenario 3: Starring other assorted celebrities

Professor 1 and Professor 2 : We want our grad student's wishes to take effect only on Sundays provided they've worked enough during the week

Random film buff: I want Ashutosh Gowarikar to die twelve times after what he put us through in his recent movie

Akshay Kumar: I want all those that died after watching 'Blue' to come back to life

Himesh Reshammiya: I want to kill the guy that invented 'Caps'..

Barack Obama: I want all grad students who earn a gazillion dollars to pay a trillion dollars in tax

Mayawati: I want a statue of myself in every house and I want everyone to wear Pink 24 hours a day..

Manoj Night Shyamalan: I want everyone to stop whispering, "I see boring movies" at me on the road.

Random game show contestant: OWWW CAN ZEE SLAPP?!

Abinand: I want Raghav to experience excruciating pain every time he takes a dig at one of my movies.

Raghav: I want everyone except Abinand to read this blog.

Sachin Tendulkar: Sorry.. not interested.

Vijay: I want people to watch Vettaikaran for me and not Anushka...and I want everyone who bitches about me in blogs to spontaneously combust.

French Premier Sarkozi: I want everyone to stop talking about my wife and start talking about me

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Rakhee Sawant: I want everyone in India to participate in season 2 of Rakhee Sawant's Swayamvar...

Genie: wait a minute... weren't you married at the end of the first season?

Rakhee Sawant: My second wish.. I want everyone in India to watch Season 1 of Rakhee Sawant's 'Talak' (Talak)..it premiers this monday.

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Well what would you wish for?

(Thanks for reading, Comment Away!!)