Of Komics, Kartoons and Kollywood - Namma ooru Justice League

Greetings unwashed masses ! It is time for another unintentionally hilarious post from the master of 'Kollywood What-if's'.

A quick primer for those uninitiated souls...The 'Justice League' is a collection of comic book superheroes who do three things. Soak this in thoroughly....

1. Fight Crime (Everything from petty crime lords to giant cockroaches)

2. Wear ridiculously homo-erotic costumes


3. Cause a lot of property damage


A few years ago I wouldn't have thought it possible, but with Endhiran and the forthcoming Ezhaam Arivu roping in Stan Winston Studios for SFX, I believe we're at a stage where a multi-starrer superhero movie is possible, even probable...

I set about dreaming up a list of namma ooru makkal who would feature in a Tamil version of the Justice League...Here goes.

Ilaya Thalapathi Vijay as Arpudhan (a) Superman


Superstrength - Check; Superspeed - Check; Ability to star in movie after movie despite being extremely boring - Check.

Vijay would essentially be the Superman of our group. And yes...most would agree that he wouldn't be doing anything that he isn't already doing in any of his movies. He would fit very well as the incessantly boring mono-dimensional, do-gooder character that Superman essentially is.

AjithKumar as Kazhugu (a) Batman


The dark and brooding Ajithkumar was the best I could come up with for the Dark Knight Detective. Batman is one of my most favorite fictional characters of all times, but he can be very annoying at times. For instance, he sometimes decides to stop fighting crime altogether...just like our friend decided to spend sometime on the race track (we all know how that turned out). Ajith rarely appears in public or gives interviews...leading to the common perception that he is a brooding intellectual. He makes his big come-back with a movie called Asal and we shant go into any more details. Batman frequently abuses himself...physically, just like our friend tried the Anorexic look for a while when the Obese look failed.

R Madhavan as Pachai Shakthi (a) The Green Lantern


Here's a quick Green Lantern primer for those of you who've never heard of him. He has a magic ring that can pretty much do anything, but for 24 hours only. With Madhavan. A hit here... a string of flops and a hit again. Add to that the unpredictability of his script signings (guru en aalu? really?) and you have a green lantern, ring and all.

Arya as Kalaabhan (a) Martian Manhunter


The good: Super Strength, telepathy, ability to pass through all objects.
The Bad: Ability to look the same in all scenes, ability to drone incessantly, dead eyes and green skin.

Jeeva as Sfeed Party (a) The Flash


In the cartoons and the comics, The Flash is the fastest man alive and his super duper speed leaves everything else in slow motion.

For my tamil version I needed a thin young man who tries to act funny in all his movies while receiving groan after groan from an exasperated audience... Jeeva fit the bill perfectly... along with several others (STR, Dhanush, Bharath etc)

Anushka as Worundhateee (a) Wonder Woman

Bada-Bing, Bada-Bang, Bada-Boom! Nuff said!

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And yeah...there're a few zillion side characters that Justice League comics traditionally contain and those would be filled in by those actors/actresses you see in every single tamil movie. People like Vaiyapuri, Karunaas, Santhanam, Vennilaadai murthy and so on....

(As always, thanks for reading...comment away! Up next will be an analysis of all of them comic book super villains)