Ramayana - The Action Comedy

No write up about indian culture is complete without mention of its epics. The Ramayana and the Mahabharata.. two epic poems which've become a part of indian pop culture like nothing else! I still remember leafing through the tattered Amar Chitra Katha Ramayana that i had back in middle school...elaborate artwork, nice lettering.. it was probably then that i developed an interest for comics and graphic art.

With Mani Ratnam making Ashokavanam (Raavan in Hindi)... there seems to be a lot of buzz about the ramayan and its associated characters. I, personally would love to see the ramayana as an action comedy..i mean.. think about it.. colorful characters. powerful villains..great scope for death defying stunts and action..

Here're my re-imagining of some scenes that would spice up an action-comedy version of the ramayana...

Note: I do not wish to hurt the religious sentiments of anyone through this post. It is intended purely as an exercise in humor

The serialized version of the Ramayana probably begins with Sage Vishwamitra asking Dhasharatha for his help... Dhasharatha offfers to send his army.. but Vishwamitra would take no one but Rama and Lakshmana....they obviously make short work of the demons that torment Vishwamitra's rites.Afterward, the Sage offers to take the two princes to a swayamvar..

Lakshmana: Hey Ram.. whats a swayamvar.

Ram: Beats me..

Vishwamitra: Its a ceremony where a princess chooses her husband...

Lakshmana: well.....SIR.. arent you a little old to be thinking about marriage..

Vishwamitra: Very funny lakshman.. i didnt have my marriage in mind when i was talking about this.. I had Ram's and yours...

Lakshmana: NOW you're talking !

Kinga Janaka of Mithila (sita's dad) declares that the one worthy enough to lift a sacred bow off the ground, string it and fire and arrow will be the one to marry his daughter..The bow which is actually a gift from the mighty Shiva proves to be more than what everyone can handle..Ram's turn finally arrives.

Ram (muttering to himself): Well it does seem a little heavy.. i'm gonna try lifting it with all my force.... there! its up in the air..just a little more.. maybe i can twist it a little.. the rope isnt going through that hole at all.. must be a trick bow..(bow creaks and SNAPS!)...

Ram (sheepish grin on face): Oops! You got insurance on this thing !?... if not i can ask my father to write you a cheque.

Miscellaneous Prince in Crowd: Aww come on ! I was waiting in line... what do we do now ?

Vishwamitra: Well .. I hear Rakhee Sawant's doing a program called Swayamvar..You can try your luck there

Lakshman: You know what?.. for a 2000 year old sage who's given up wordly pleasures.. u sure do know a lotta stuff..!

So yeah..the story proceeds with ram marrying sita and going back to Ayodhya to live with his parents. The twist comes when Mantara, the maid of one of Dhasharatha's queens poisons her mind.

Manthara: So .... I hear Ram's first in line to become king.

Kaikeyi (combing her hair and youtubeing): Yeah...

Manthara: YEAH? whaddaya mean "YEAH"?

Kaikeyi: What about it. He's young, strong, powerful, just, kind and all that...

Manthara: You're missing the point ..!!

Kaikeyi: Which is ..?

Manthara: Your son isnt being made king ...he has equal rights to the throne..

Kaikeyi: .. am sure he's going to be made 'secretary of state' or something...

Hillary Clinton: What the heck was that?

Bill Clinton: Aww c'mere hillary...(censored...)

Manthara: Awww.. fish.. help me out here TR..

TR: aaaaah Kaikeyiii, Un Kannula Maiyiii...
Anga paaru....un paiyanukku verum moru
Ramanukku kingdommmu...
Nee ippo kudi konjam rummu
Dhasharathan kitta nee poyi pammu
Bharathanukku nee kelu thronu...
Aa Dandanakka.. A danda Nakka !

Kaikeyi is hynotized by TR's charm and asks Dhasharatha to make bharath the king. and... like a July 4th special deal on amazon she also threw in a free 14 year exile for Ram, Lakshman and Sita..

Ram and the others tearfully depart from Ayodhya and Dhasharatha dies of grief...:-(

(to be continued...Will write second part featuring the antics of Hanuman, Ravana and Vibheeshana if favorable comments are received for this one...)